The P word ?

No, not the long word that I can't spell that people take at parties. This is much more prosaic. This is procrastination ~ that fine art of putting off, postponing, delaying, or in some way deferring. Most of us do it and often in one particular area of our lives.

What do we gain by procrastinating? Here are 5 possibilities. You will have others that you are all too familiar with.

•  We avoid action

1. We get to think a lot
2. We stick with what's comfortable
3. We think it's the easier option (sometimes)
4. We get sympathy from friends (maybe)

But what are the impacts? We know them only too well ~ things tend to get worse, we worry a lot, our self belief suffers, we doubt our ability to make a decision about anything, ever, we feel guilty and beat ourselves up, and so it goes on. . . .

What is procrastination really about and what are some of the reasons that under-pin it ? Procrastination is often a symptom, rather than the cause, so working on the symptom often gets us closer to the solution. Here are some possible symptoms.

• We lack what we need ~ it may be lack of detail, or unclear communication, or hazy objectives, or no motivation
• Negative self-talk. The orchestra in our head is getting in the way ~ we all have those inner gremlins telling us what we should, or should not do, what we are good at and what we are not ~ they like procrastination ~ it means they've succeeded!
• Our crowded days and lives keep us in fire-fighting mode. Someone once said that m aintaining a complicated life is a great way to avoid changing it. Keep our lives super-busy and something important is sure to drop through the cracks, but hey we then get the chance to procrastinate about it, and beat ourselves up and feel guilty. Same old same old . . . !
• We may have personal "needs" that must be fulfilled before we get into action, like an adrenalin rush, and the desperation that comes from last minute activity ~ remember those 2am essays, or Xmas eve shopping?.. They do ensure we move from procrastination, but at what cost? Or we may be a perfectionist and the fear of not doing it 110% perfect is stopping us getting started.

So how does all this fit with your way of doing things? If "procrastination" is actually valid thinking and planning time and you need it in your life, or it forces you into action eventually, and that is OK, then timetable it into your schedule, look forward to it, and enjoy it. Accept that you are a procrastinator and that it works well for you.

If on the other hand you know it does not work for you and you would rather not be a procrastinator, here are some ideas to assist in cutting through it . . .

• Steer clear of self criticism. To procrastinate, then beat yourself up for doing it is a double dose of what you don't need. Just simply notice that you are procrastinating and acknowledge it is just ONE way of dealing with your challenge
• Understand that procrastination is often about being overwhelmed rather than lazy, so decide where your real priorities are. What can you get rid of, or say NO to, or delegate, or just not do? You will need to find a way to create space for this new thing. Where is it to come from ? The martyrdom trap and self pity are very tempting here - avoid them
• Always start from where you are and do forgive yourself those past delays - to not do that will simply further delay the process !
• Ask these questions
• Where am I now ?
• Where do I want to get to ?
• By when?
• How will I do it ~ what are my options?
• What support do I need
• What is my purpose in doing this?

Question 6 is very important. Do you have to do this thing? Do YOU have to do it. Does it have to be done now ? Does it have to be done at all ?

It's time to be very honest here. Saying NO, when YES might be the "easy" option, is a bold thing to do and presents an advance on procrastinating. If YES is the answer and you do have to do this thing, then go to the 6 questions above. Take time to write down your answers. The act of committing to paper often gives you the breakthrough to either get into action and get started ~ or realise that the "mountain" is really a molehill and can be achieved in a few minutes. You may well be amazed how simple it really is. And hey don't criticise yourself for not having realised this last week, last month, or last year. Just get on and repeat the process, and don't procrastinate about it !!