Choices, choices, choices

I've noticed a lot of people in libraries recently who are troubled by something they are not happy about, it is costing them energy, and they are not sure what they should do about it. Sound familiar? Sometimes it is to do with them, sometimes it is to do with someone else, sometimes it is to do with the culture of the organisation, the way things are done, the way the policies or procedures or strategies affect others, and the dissatisfaction caused. I expect many people can think of something, and of course it is not unique to libraries - it is the stuff of life !!

However I'd like to write about libraries, and YOU, and what you can do if and when you find yourself in this situation. Those who have worked with me over the last few years will be familiar with all this, however it is a message that can stand repeating. It will sound common sense, and it is, but lots of people are spending lots of time being unhappy in their jobs, so if this helps one person see things differently, then the repetition will be worth it.

Let's go back to my first sentence, which made the comment that a lot of people are not sure what they SHOULD do about this thing that is concerning them.

The first thing you need to decide is what you WANT to do about it. What do you really really really WANT to do. Forget the SHOULDS ~ they are often someone else's idea, or at least something that doesn't seem like the best way forward to you (otherwise you may have done it)

Let's take an example. Something is troubling you at work and your colleague says , Oh you should talk to X about that. But you don't, for a whole variety of reasons, and the problem remains, and maybe gets worse. So you feel a bit stuck. Then others have other ideas, in fact you can start to feel bombarded ~ and you still can't decide what you SHOULD do, and feel even more stuck. Still sound familiar?

Next time this happens, here's an idea. Try sitting back and asking yourself ~ What do I WANT to do about this? And here are some possible options.

Option one is to stay and moan. Yes, I am serious. This is a choice you can make. Often a little bit of moaning can be therapeutic ~ it helps clear the air, but when it continues, it can have major impacts on you and others around you. This first choice means that you do nothing different, continue to complain, gather support from those around you who are also choosing this option and feel good about it ~ maybe. You certainly don't have to do anything different, you continue to see the problems, talk about them, and wait for the problem either to go away or get better, or worse. In the meantime you start to feel stressed, your health may even suffer and you feel quite desperate about what you SHOULD do.

Option two is to learn to live with it, whatever "it" is. Here, you consciously move away from moaning and start to see that getting on and learning to live with whatever was troubling you would be a better way, so you choose a different perspective, and move on. In effect you are doing something internally, taking a different view ~ it happens in your head.

Option three is to decide to do one thing about it (the thing that is concerning you) and do it. This is about doing something externally. This is a leap on from option 1, and bolder than option 2. People often choose this option when they are sick of moaning but are unwilling or unable to live with the situation. In this option, it is very important to prepare carefully. A knee-jerk or angry reaction will not cut the mustard ! It is better to take some time to consider your alternatives, gather information, get someone to support you, speak to others who share your concerns, or someone neutral who can provide perspective ~ in a word develop a strategy that you think is sound and reasonable.

And of course your action(s) may not get you the result you want. Do not be surprised by that - it's pretty unusual to get a quick solution to something that has been days, weeks, even months in the making. Often people say to me ~ Oh we tried to do X or Y or Z and nothing changed. as if that is proof that Option 3 is dead in the water. And yes, maybe it didn't work the first time, so now you get to make the choices all over again. Go back to moaning, with the inherent risks to your health and/or sanity, learn to live with it, or think of another way of actioning option 3 ? I am not being facetious here. I speak with huge experience of where the first, third, sixth or tenth thing I have tried did not work, and that is life. If there was a guaranteed way to do stuff we'd all be doing it, wouldn't we ??

What I can say is that the more practiced you are at taking the more proactive route, the more skilled and street-wise you become and the more likely you are to resolve things quicker.

And then there is Option 4. It is one that we are usually reluctant to use. Option 4 is to walk away. If the going gets really tough, and you are sick of moaning and you can't learn to live with it, and you've tried to do everything, or at least that's what it feels like, and the personal toll is too high, then walk away. "But I can't just walk away" I hear you say. Ok, that's fair enough, so which one of the other 3 is it going to be ??